Relationship Walking Red flags

There are aspects that are more prudent left unspoken or undone, particularly when prioritizing self-preservation. Have you ever pondered the ineffectiveness of the adage "better safe than sorry"in all contexts? If so, you may grasp the significance of maintaining one's own path.

Texting your ex

 You are probably at home, bored senseless and looking for adventure. You’re also probably half-drunk. It’s not a good time to call your friends over. Even if you wanted to, you can’t pull that off in your parents’ house. Right now, in a world where moving around outside of your compound and risking other people’s lives is as criminal as it gets, texting or calling your ex sounds pretty harmless. Well, put that phone back down. Bad idea.

First of all, they can’t come over because they’re supposed to stay home too. Secondly, you will end up embarrassing yourself. Oh, we both know your social distancing self will confess feelings you haven’t been able to let go of. Did I also mention that you’ll want a second chance? No? Well, you will.

Aside from that, texting or calling the ex never ended well for anybody.

The anonymous game

Unless you want to find out that your friend is secretly gay and is in love with you, I’d strongly advise against it. Not that them being gay is a problem, but Brian, your toxic masculinity is unrivaled. Don’t worry about it. You’ll find out who they are soon enough.

I get it. There is the thrill that comes with sending and receiving secret love letters and confessions of undying loyalty. I know because I wrote my fair share of anonymous love letters in primary school. Back then, it was harmless.

Not this time. You’ll be seated home, idle and at peace, until someone anonymously tells you they slept with your man. They are probably just joking-or they aren’t. You’ll never know, Dorcas, you’ll never know.

Getting drunk

I probably should have started with this. It also looks pretty harmless on the outside. You like to strip when you get drunk. It’s not an issue when you’re doing it on the balcony of your friend’s one bedroom apartment. In your parents’ house? I don’t think so. Is that something you want them to see? You being pathetic and crying about your sad love life? No? Wait till you’re away from home then.

If that doesn’t scare you enough, remember that nobody will be around to hold your hair back as you hurl. Your mom will be waiting for you to be done so she can kick you out of her house. Don’t worry, you won’t be able to go far. The front porch will be just fine.

Multiple dating

Sure, you’ve been on countless online dating sites and it’s worked for you. However, dating all your friends via WhatsApp is definitely not advisable. Yes, almost everyone has some time to spare for a little online escapade now. It’s nothing, just testing the waters. That is, until you find out you’re in a serious relationship with four different people and you’ve no idea how it happened. Did they drug you? Probably. Or did you unwittingly and unknowingly agree to a relationship because you were enjoying your prolonged online freedom? Highly likely.

You’ll have to meet and break up with every single one of them after the plague blows over. You could end it just as easily via text. I’ll have to tell you though that Janice already has the wedding colors picked out (it’s burgundy and pale pink). You can’t break her heart via text.

You can focus on more positive tasks like finishing your assignments and reading for those exams. The ‘work from home’ thing isn’t so bad either if you’d just try it instead of spending all day in bed bingeing on How I Met Your Mother. Barney Stinson will only teach you how to hunt bimbos. That requires commitment and you currently have none.

Just stay home and be safe. That won’t land you in any trouble. I guess.