How to unplug from a stresfull relationship

                   Author:Mercy Wanjama

People in relationships sometimes get overly immersed, especially during the first few months.

However, whether it’s a new relationship or not, it’s important to find ways to unplug every once in a while. Have a partner-free day or weekend. I know, you want to cuddle deep inside your partner’s sweater because you’re so in love. It’s normal. But Tracy, you’re a fierce, independent woman-feminist maybe-and you know what your ancestors would say about your recent dependency on your relationship.

Truth be told, even the best relationships can get suffocating. Nobody wants that, eh? Here are some things you can try:

1. Masturdate.

Take yourself out on dates.

Dates are not necessarily a two-people(or whatever number you take out)affair. You don’t have to wait for your partner to try out that new restaurant or keg joint(because Joe’s Pub has a branch the next town over). It’s refreshing to have a day where you spend time with yourself, and spend on yourself. Your options are limitless. Change your citizenship and swim to Madagascar to take up fishing. It’s not exactly a masturdating idea but it could work. Spend a day at the spa, get a little too drunk by yourself or restaurant-hop and pull out your favourite novel, treat yourself to something nice and special. Have fun alone.

2. Go on a solo trip/vacation

You’re probably cringing but take a deep breath. It’s not as expensive as it sounds. A vacation does not necessarily mean a trip to Bora Bora. Take a long drive and spend the night at a nice hotel. Heck, this is your chance to try a roadside motel. Visit a game park and spend a night at the hotel there. Wherever you go, do it alone. You might actually find that you’re a beach person as opposed to the mountains and alps person you are when with your partner.

3. Spend time with your friends.

Oh, right. Things are much better when both of you have different sets of friends. Being in a relationship does not mean you should forget your gang. Don’t be the unavailable friend who’s deeply immersed in a fairytale. Invite them to your place and have a lazy day. Better yet, go clubbing. If that’s not your thing, then Joe’s Pub for a keg or two might do the trick. Forget you’re in a relationship and focus on the other people in your life for a few hours… Or a day.

4. Focus on personal growth

It’s harder than it sounds, trust me. You’re at a point in your life when you want to involve your partner in every aspect of, well…everything. Ignore the urge. Go to the gym, sign up for yoga classes, start that business you’ve been wanting to, try meditation lessons, adopt a healthy habit… A healthy relationship should inspire you to invest in yourself. Remember, your relationship is a part of your life. It shouldn’t be your whole life.

5. Have gadget-free days

A little difficult if you’re working or if most of your work is online, but it’s definitely achievable.

Being close to your gadgets could give you that irrepressible need to update your partner about your day, take pictures for them or call them. That’s not a bad thing, entirely. It should, however, not be a habit. Be away from your phone or laptop and engage in something that will occupy your mind. Go hiking, build a rocket, complete a 4000-piece puzzle, hell, invent a new English word(it takes more energy than you might want to expend-I’ve tried).

Sometimes, the best way to make a relationship thrive is to let it breathe. Time away from your partner and the relationship environment will help both of you focus on other aspects of yourselves and grow separately. It’s good for the climate, really.